Hate towards me #
I hate myself, not because I hate my life, but the whole circumstances around me. If I had to kill myself, I would do it, but I can’t. I adhere to the principle of universal actions: do it as if everyone would do it. For this reason, if I suicide, everyone should also, but my proposal is to myself, not to everyone. In fact, there is no better reason to just kill myself. Another fact that I have found personally is the principle of no life, since life itself is a contradiction and there is no way to escape it. And thirdly, life is a precious branch of a big chaotic tree, one must appreciate it and contemplate the entire diversity we obtain throughout our senses.
True knowledge behind the appearances #
Although I jumped on this situation, it’s worth to say why I hate myself. For an obvious reason, to love myself. Even so, hating myself is the unfulfilling life that I have acquired, so I’m unhappy, yet a philosopher like me must search where should one attain happiness, since one knows nothing about it, and so, one knows one thing: that oneself knows nothing about happiness. My family, they think they know how to be happy, but they don’t know what is to be happy, yet they think they know what is to be happy, but they don’t know what they really know. I, myself, however, think that I know nothing about how to be happy, nor what is to be happy, yet I still know one thing, firmly and securer than they think: that I know nothing.
The amateur’s work #
I once said to my friend that I don’t want to be forced by my parents to work. She replied to me that she only works on something that she wanted to do, like helping out in the nursery. It is more like a hobby, I would say. Furthermore, she told me that her parents won’t force her to do something that she doesn’t want to do, yet my parents think they know that every child helps their parents on their work. If they assume they know it, they should provide proof to verify the exposed statement, yet they didn’t. But reason has given an early answer upon me without empirical demonstration: if they know the fact that every child helps their parents, they must have gone to the whole world and see on their eyes that every child helps their parents. However, I don’t help my parents, nor I don’t want to, so the proposition must be false. But my parents aren’t philosophers, nor they won’t like to know something, yet arrogantly as I would say they know facts about life. However, those facts about life are a mere nonsense of the commoners, and it is no knowledge at all.
Facts about my family’s contradiction #
Since I don’t like my life the way that I should expect to be, I must endure it, while they don’t like either the way that my life should be as I wanted and my present life. My family are a bunch of ignorants, they think I don’t like to hear what I don’t want to hear, yet they don’t like to hear what they don’t like to hear. In other words, I can’t say bad things to my parents, but my parents can say it to me. Another fact is, they think they are not strict on me, yet they pressure me. Moreover, they think I do badly because I’m uneducated, so they have the rights to doctrine (this word is much better) me, but when they do so, they don’t need to doctrine themselves. And finally, they expect they work efficiently when the maximum efficiency is potentially infinite.
Thinking is doing #
Sadly, I’m forced to do something that I don’t want to do: to work and help my parents. But why? They think I’m doing nothing, or maybe studying, yet doing nothing is what nothingness do. But thinking is something, yet they think that I’m doing nothing. Doing nothing is impossible for a human being, as per them is possible, but they seem to know nothing. Additionally, they assume that I don’t think, yet to think is to live. If I don’t think, then I don’t live. Or they think I’m too dumb to not think as smart, or maybe this is how a philosopher’s thinking is very complex and different from the commoners. As far as I know, commoners can be smart, but they aren’t sages; philosophers, however, know one thing and try as many times as they would to achieve the highest and fundamental knowledge, whether smartly or dumbly, but at least they do what they want to do.
The lie for the better #
Now, he said to me that his motive was to help me do goodly. How kind of him? Should I praise him for his amazing job of being a good parent to rubbish me and suffer? No way! Not only his intention was ordering me what he wants me to do for him, but also told a white lie. As reason would say, if there is some expected bad end and the mean seems unknown, then the intention is mischievous. I appreciate that I, myself, would need to also lie my expression for him, so he, in return, favours for himself being fulfilled with happiness. As a result, I don’t hope that this mean would help me do goodly forever, since it’s not related at all. Working and helping for him doesn’t mean I would do goodly. Nevertheless, I would like to ask him what is good instead of accepting the desire of his malicious motive. Imagine this, being the head of knowing more than someone is completely shocked of not answering one simple fundamental question (what is good?). Then, he knows nothing, even though he is convinced himself that he knows something.